Actions & Words

Good morning. Good to see you all here today. If this is your first time, I want to especially welcome you this morning. My name is Tim. I get the privilege of being the lead pastor. Those of you that are joining us in person, or maybe you’re streaming in online. We are in week two of what we’re calling Genesis Part four. And that is because for the last two years, we have been going through the book of Genesis, sentence by sentence, word by word. And so today, what you just heard from those incredible readers is the text that we’re going to be covering. So can we give them a hand for doing an incredible job? And so the way that we kind of handle larger books of the Bible is we like to, to kind of, break them up into bite sized pieces. And so this series is 11 weeks and, it’ll take us all the way until the end of November. I do want to highlight, if you love worship here at Shepherds Gate or some singers out there, you just love the worship part of our services. Anybody want to raise their hands? And you’re not going to want to miss next week because the text speaks about that very thing. And so we’re actually, we only have 11 verses next week. And so we’re going to spend some extra time singing songs and worshiping our God.

So make sure you’re here for that. But what we like to do with these types of series is just challenge you to be in church.It’s the fall. It’s the it’s the new routine we’re all kind of moving into into, you know, headed toward the holidays. And it’s an 11 week challenge to be present every week. If you can’t be here, make sure that you stream in online or you can watch later on demand. We also encourage you to engage in the text during the week, and I’ll explain that in a moment. And also, if you’re married or you have kids in the home, we just create resources that we want to be a blessing to you so that together you can have spiritual conversations in your home or in your car all week long. So it’s not just coming on Sunday morning and, you know, doing the church thing for an hour, but all week long, we’re interacting with those closest to us, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. If this is your first time, one of the other challenges that we like to give is this is we just encourage you to come back three weeks in a row, just try us out for three weeks in a row and you’ll know whether or not this is a church that maybe God would having you call home. So we hope that you’ll take us up on that as well. But these resources, they’re so easy. They’re on our app.

So if you download the app, you’re right on the front page, of the home screen. Or you can go on our website. That’s where the reading plan is located. So you can actually read the text. Think of this. You can read the text before you come. So you know exactly what we’re going to be covering. There’s also some dig deeper questions that we write internally here. Our staff does this. So if you have a spouse or you have a small group and you want to, you know, interact with the text, this is how you would do it. And then one of the really cool features is the family questions that are at the very bottom. And I would just encourage you as you head home, to give your phone to one of your kids and let them ask the questions. There’s usually 2 or 3 family questions, on the ride home because it’s fresh in your mind and it’s also fresh in their mind because our kids are actually learning the same exact thing that we’re learning here. They’re just learning it at an age appropriate level. Because, let’s be honest, sometimes in Genesis, it can be a little adult like material. Amen. For those of you that have been around the last couple of years, listen, this is so easy to do. In fact, doing this with your family is easier than updating your fantasy football team every week. Okay?

We spent a lot of time doing these resources. It’s actually even easier than ordering your groceries from Kroger on the on the online app. Okay. We want to we want to be a blessing to you. So we really hope that you’ll take advantage of those resources. Sound good. All right. So today we are actually going to be talking about families. And specifically we’re going to be talking about dysfunctional families. Is anyone from a dysfunctional family? Okay. Keep your hand up if you’re seated next to the people that are just not just kidding, don’t do that. You’re going to start fights. Because you are going to get an inside view of this family of four, that Ben kicked off last week, looking at looking at the father of this group and really the extremes that they go to to kind of sin against each other. And so we’re going to begin in chapter 27, which begins this way. Isaac, he’s old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see. So he starting to lose his sight. So what happens when you get old, right. So he calls for Esau, his oldest son, and he says to him, my son. And of course he says, yeah, I’m here. And he says, I’m an old man. And don’t know the day of my death. How many of you you have family members that say this all the time? I’m old and I’m going to die soon, so be nice to me. And then they live for another 20 years.

All right, spoiler alert, because we’re going to handle this in a few weeks. He’s not on his deathbed. He actually lives for a lot longer than this moment. He just thinks he’s dying. And that’s the difficulty in life, right? We none of us really actually know when we’re going to die. And so we’re just kind of like, is this my year? So I’m going to be five years from now. But kind of enter into the situation. And he tells him to go get your, you know, your bow and your arrows go out into the open country, get some wild game because I like wild game. Prepare me a meal so that I can give you my blessing before I what? Wow. It’s kind of interesting. He’s having this conversation with his son and it says this. Now Rebecca, who is Isaac’s wife, was doing what was very good. It says listening the tax. But what do we call that today? Eavesdropping. Anybody have moms that eavesdrops? Grandma’s. Anybody want to admit that they do this to their spouses or their kids? She goes to the other son, Jacob, and she says, now, my son, you’re going to see this repeated, listen carefully and do what I tell you to do. Get out of the flock. Go get two young goats, prepare, and then bring him to me, and then I’ll be the one to prepare it for your dad.

Because I know how he likes it. She’s married to him. She should know how he likes his food. And then you’re going to take it to your dad to eat so that he gives you the blessing before he dies. So apparently, she also thinks that his time on earth is short. What do we call this in our society? Favoritism and enabling. This is an enabling mom. You have now after just a few the few verses here where only ten verses in what is actually happening with this family. I mean, Isaac, right? He’s old. He’s playing this card of, oh, you know, I’m not sure how long more I’m going to be around. And I, you know, I need to make sure that I give my oldest son my blessing. Rebecca, this is kind of interesting. Like what is going on and why would she go behind her husband’s back, as well as kind of betray even her oldest son, Esau, so far, up to this point, seems to be the good guy, doesn’t he? I mean, he just doing what his dad tells him to do, and he’s trying to be a good son. And then Jacob just seems to be passive, going along with what his mom says. Now, this is why we go through sentence by sentence, word by word, because it’s really important to understand the context of this. And you actually have to rewind two chapters back to Genesis 25 to get the full picture, which is leading up to this moment. Here’s the difficulty. We actually went through Genesis chapter 25 back in March, and I’m sure all of you remember those sermons correct. So I don’t need to go there. 

Yeah. So what we are going to do for a moment is go back to chapter 25, because we know it’s been a few months and just kind of catch us up on what is already transpired with this family. Isaac is actually praying to the Lord on behalf of his wife. So the marriage is actually in a healthy situation in one regard because she’s childless. They’re dealing with infertility issues. In fact, everybody else is having babies but the two of them. And this went on for a very long time when when God gave him these twins, they were they were older in their lives. And God answers their prayer. His wife, Rebecca, if she becomes pregnant. And when you know it’s twins and these two are actually fighting in the womb together. Now, ladies, those of you that that God has blessed with children and you know what that is? Many of you have one kid in there. Imagine having two and imagine knowing that they’re actually fighting each other in the womb. I mean, you talk about some sibling rivalry and it’s to the point where she’s like, why is this happening? I’m going to go ask God. And just because she goes in ask God doesn’t mean God’s going to answer her prayer.

But in this text, he actually does because he tells her two nations are in your womb, two peoples from within you will be separated, one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger. And all of us that are second, third and fourth, fifth born. We all say together. Amen. That’s awesome. Shouldn’t that be how it is? And all of you that are the firstborn say why? Boo! This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. I was born first. I have the right to tell all my other siblings how to live their lives. Isn’t it interesting that even as they were being born that Jacob was holding to Esau his ankle? I just imagine, like going through pregnancy and you got your kids at war with each other and even during the birthing process? Well, it tells us in the text they grow up. Esau becomes a skillful hunter, a man of the open country. Jacob. He’s just content staying at home and just kind of playing it laid back. And here’s the crazy part, Isaac, that we’ve learned. He has a taste for wild game, but this is really important. He loved. But Rebekah loved. And this is where we get into the parent favoritism. Now, this week I asked my wife because we have two sons at our house and I said to my wife, Lisa, I said, which one of our two sons do you love more? And she said, why are you asking me that question? I said, well, it’s in the text this week. I need an illustration. I just need to know which one you love more so I can tell our whole church. And what do you think she said?

I yeah, exactly. You guys all all know how this goes. Can we trust her? Can we trust other moms? Like, come on moms, you seriously don’t have a favorite? Are there times that maybe you like one kid more than the other? But it’s interesting. If you dig into parenting books and you kind of do a deep dive in the study of birth orders and and how parents interact with their kids. If you have multiple kids in the home, usually what happens is a parent will naturally gravitate toward the kid that is less like them, not more like them. And the reason is, if the kid, it’s more like you usually see yourself in that person and you specifically see some of their, struggles. And so oftentimes you’re harder on that one because it’s just a reflection of yourself. Isn’t that interesting? So why this is the way that it is. It’s just interesting that the Bible actually tells us Isaac has a favorite. Rebecca has a favorite. This is not a healthy family system that you’re seeing. It says this in 25. It says Jacob was cooking some stew because he’s at home and that’s what he does. Esau, who is out in the open country, he comes in, he’s hungry, and he says, let me have some of that stew. I’m famished. And Jacob decides to say, well, first sell me your birthright. And look at Esau. His response look, I’m about to die. Does that sound familiar? Another just dramatic way to to talk. He’s nowhere near the end of his life. Maybe he had a disease. Maybe he thought that he was going to die.

I mean, there’s we really don’t know because the text doesn’t tell us, or he’s just being dramatic. And then he goes on to say, what good is this birthright to me? Jacob was like, all right, if it’s no big deal, then swear to me first. So he swears him the oath, he sells him the birthright, and then he gives him some bread and lentil stew, and he ate and he drank, and he got up and laughed. And he despised his birthright. Why? As you look at this text, why would he do this? Why do you put it in this context? Birthright? It means that you get twice the amount of your parents inheritance as everybody else in the family. It also means that you get put in the leadership position, so you’re in charge of whatever wealth your parents have built up, specifically your father. And so he would have been in charge them of their land, their livestock, their servants, everything that his dad owned would rightly become his. And he would be able to dictate how everything would be divided up, giving himself a double portion, because that’s how it worked back then. Why would he be so flippant about it? Is it because he didn’t care about earthly possessions? Was he just kind of like a wanderer? Was he just like a hippie? He just liked being outside and in nature, and he didn’t really need to have all of these things to feel content in life. I mean, it doesn’t make sense, does it?

For some bread and some simple soup. But think about it. So often when we look at characters in the Bible, it’s easy to look at them and go, what were you thinking? Or why would you make such a stupid decision? But if we pause long enough and we reflect on our own lives and we’re honest with ourselves, we might be surprised how many times we sell ourselves out. We will exchange the blessings of God, even earthly blessings for something so insignificant. More on that in a moment. Let’s go back to chapter 27. Jacob says to his mom, my brother Esau is a hairy man. While I have smooth skin, I mean, you can’t get polar opposite brothers, twin brothers in this situation, can you? Different personalities, different interests, even their physical makes up make up are completely different. And he’s smart enough to know that if my dad touches me, he’s going to know that I’m tricking him. And you’re going to call down a curse on myself. Here comes the enabling mom. My son. Let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say. Go and go get those goats for me. So he goes along with this plan of his mom, brings it to her. She does all the preparing. She’s the one that orchestrates all of these events for him. And then he goes to see his father. So pause again. Why would Rebecca go to such great lengths to deceive her husband and her oldest son? Why would she do this? Favoritism. There’s two reasons. We went over it in the text. You’re getting close. That sit right there.

So think of this first. Jacob’s her favorite. Right. And we’ve already learned that she’s saying this is this is the one that I like more than the other one. And secondly, because God told her that the older would serve the younger. Which then brings this question up when God makes a promise, does he need our help fulfilling it? Is Rebecca acting in a godly way in this text? Isn’t it interesting? Think of this for a moment. How many times in our lives we know the promises of God there in the scriptures? We know what God declares over our lives as believers in him, over our marriages and over our families. And yet what happens is we get impatient with God, or we think that God is too busy, or we don’t like some of the scriptures that are in the Bible. And so we will twist and manipulate and kind of start doing things that we normally shouldn’t do because we feel that God needs our help. If you study this next generation that’s coming up in particular, there is a whole lot of research about parent involvement, specifically moms and moms with their teen and young adult children and how much they’re involved in their lives, more than they ever have been with any other generation. And why? Why is that happening in our day and age? Do we trust God with our children? Do we trust that God will fulfill his plan and purpose in their lives?

And what is our role as they go through the continuum of their lives and as they become adults and they begin to to have lives of their own? I mean, it’s very fascinating to just pause and to think about that in our own lives. Look what happens next. It says, Jacob went close to his father, Isaac. And I wonder in this text, like, is this heart beating really fast? I guess are his hands and his forehead getting sweaty because he knows he’s lying to his dad and he touches them. I mean, think about how intimate of a moment this is. And, you know, Isaac can tell, like, there’s something wrong with this voice. This this doesn’t sound like Esau.  This doesn’t sound like my firstborn. And even though he’s, you know, confused about this, he he actually even asked, are you really my son? And Jacob has to lie. He literally has to lie and say, I am who he’s not. What does Isaac do? He gives him the blessing. He leaves his father’s presence. Here comes Esau. He prepares his own meal. He doesn’t need mom to do it for him, brings it to his father. He sits down and says, my father, please eat some of what I have brought to you. I did what you told me to do so I can receive your blessing. And of course, his father says, well, who are you? Dad, dad! It’s me. It’s Esau, your firstborn. Love the emphasis on that. And it. Look at what it says. Isaac trembled violently. Imagine what that must have been like to watch the anger and rage that was inside of his father. Parents in here.

You ever been enraged with your kids? Dads in particular. Anger. Raise your voice. And everybody in the family knows that this is a serious moment. There’s been times in my family when I’ve gotten pretty upset with my boys, and my wife has had to say, you may need to go for a walk. You may need to take it down a couple levels. There is something when a dad is enraged, am I wrong? There is times when when things happen and it just you just move into that mode. And so you got to see this man in that mode. Like he is angry. He’s trembling violently. And they figure it out. They figure it out that it’s Jacob. He’s not the only one that’s upset because Esau, as he’s hearing his father say, there’s someone already that came in that receive your blessing. Look at you. Saw. He burst out with a loud and bitter cry. I wonder if Rebecca was around the corner with Jacob. I wonder if she heard this blood curdling scream as he realized what was happening in this moment. And then you can see how he goes from one emotional extreme to the other as he’s crying out to his dad, dad, come on, blessed. Me too. Is there anything else that you have? Is there any other blessing that you could give to me? Makes you kind of feel for the guy, doesn’t it? Here he is. He’s already sold out his birth. Right now. He’s getting his blessing, taking away. And I believe if we’re honest, a lot of us, we kind of have the same response that he had. It wasn’t just that he held a grudge, is that he said to himself, the days of mourning for my father are near. 

So after my dad passes away and we have the ten day period of mourning, I’m going to go find my brother and I’m going to kill him. Is anyone ever wanted to kill a sibling in here? Have you ever been so enraged? Maybe you have kids that are at war with each other. Kids that don’t talk to each other. How about the families where you have multiple kids and you have one kid that is serving the Lord, and the other kid is doing everything they can to run away from the things of God. It’s crazy how the text from thousands of years ago gets real, real, real quickly, isn’t it? The things that they deal with. And yet we still deal with all of these things today. And somehow, in this moment, Rebecca finds out. She says to Jacob, guess what? He’s going to avenge himself, and he’s going to kill you. And by the way, if he catches you, it’s going to happen. So, my son, you need to do what I say. You need to get out of here. You need to flee. And hopefully over time, he’ll calm down. Hopefully he’ll have enough time to process this and not want to take you out. But to be honest, sometimes we’re like this too, aren’t we?  Like, we get so much anger and animosity and bitterness built up inside of us that we think, and we even say even someone so close to us as a sibling. Life would be better if they were no longer here on this planet. Think of it with your extended family.

Think of it with the church family. Do you think everybody at Shepard’s gate gets along? If you think there’s conflict or fights even among us in the body of believers, course there is, because we’re fallen. Sinful people were always drawn to do the wrong thing. We’re always drawn. So to want to have the focus on ourselves and be selfish with our lives, I want to go back to this concept so that we really understand this this morning, this idea of a birthright and a blessing. The birthright is given by Heavenly Father. I think we all can agree on that. That God Almighty is the one that determines the birth order, correct? So if you’re a firstborn, you are a firstborn, because that’s what God wanted for you. And if you’re a second or third or fourth, wherever you fall in the birth order, that honestly comes from God, even if you have twins, I don’t think anybody can go to a doctor and say, pull this one out first and then that one. Correct? Is there a doctor in here that can verify that, or a nurse? Pretty sure that’s how it works and think of his birthright. He didn’t care about it. Esau didn’t care about it. And what ends up happening is he becomes a villain. But yet the blessing, what was his? What was important to him?

The approval of his father, that emotional connection to his earthly father. He cared very deeply about that. And what ends up happening is he becomes the victim. I was thinking about this even in my own life, because oftentimes in the world that we live in, if you have multiple kids, usually one kid is gets to be the executor of the estate. Correct? I don’t know if any of you are executors out there. It’s one of the fun things that we have in our family because I have an older brother, he’s only 18 months older than me. I want to emphasize that he’s only 18 months older than me. My parents go to this church, by the way. And several years ago they sat us all down. There’s four kids. I’m one of four. And they told us that Bill is the executor of the state. And I said, why does Bill get to be the executor of the state? Because he’s the firstborn. And I was like, who cares? Like, are we is this a biblical principle? Have we read this tax? And now all firstborns get to be the executor of their parent’s estate. And so now I love to tease my brother and my family members with this. Anytime we get together as a family, get together as a family, because if there’s some concern or someone’s having struggles or whatever, I just say you should talk to the executor. And then I say, usually as long as I stay the favorite, I don’t care if I’m the executor. Right? At the end of the day, what is more important? Is it the earthly possessions that someone can leave you?

Here’s some more research that’s been coming out recently. In the next ten years, we are going to see the biggest wealth transfer in American history, money that is going to move from grandparents to their kids. And some of that will then go on to their grandkids. The biggest wealth transfer. And you know what’s going to cause strife, confusion, heartache, bitterness and anger. You know, being in the position that we are here at the church and and being around people during some of the most sensitive and important times of their lives, specifically funerals, when families should be focused on mourning the loss of their loved one while simultaneously, if they have faith, rejoicing that they’re with Jesus so quickly can turn into a battle for who gets what. And I can tell you, just after the first service, someone stopped me out in the hallway and they said, I’m the executor because my mom just passed away. My dad passed away a long time ago and he said, I hate it. It’s awful because I have to be the one to try to figure this out. And everyone’s going to be angry at me because I’m trying to figure out how to divide my parents estate up. And why does that always become the thing? Why does it always become the focus instead of what’s actually most important? The most important thing is passing faith on to your kids. Did you know that you can build a huge portfolio? You can leave your kids tons of money and it’s going to mean nothing when they die. The most important thing you can do is invest in their spiritual life.

And as you pull back from this text, it’s so simple digging into this, seeing the dysfunction that you see here, it’s all about priorities. And it’s really this simple. Your priorities should be your loyalties. Let me say that again. Your priority should be your loyalties and your number one priority is to Almighty God, is to your faith and your soul. And that’s why we encourage you to be in church every week, because we go and live most of our lives outside of this place, and the world will constantly draw in that direction and tell us that we need more, and we’re never content with what we have. And look at all the glamor and glitz that the world offers instead of our attention being on Almighty God and the faith that he has given us and the life that is actually to come second, then if you are in a marriage, is your relationship with your spouse. That is the second most important relationship you have on this planet. And those of us with kids and I will even dare say this, those of you that have grandkids, guess what? They’re number three. And in this account, in this text, you can see how they have completely flipped this order around. The kids are number one, marriage is number two, and God is number three. Do you think we messed this order up now to. Anyone want to admit that this is often how we live our lives? It gets so convoluted with kids schedules, and their schedules are what drive us. And it’s so hard to get to church or make church a priority, because everybody else is telling us where we should take our kids and what we should do with our kids, versus the priority being on their faith and their faith.

Walk in making sure that they walk with the one, true and living God. Amen. So let’s review this dysfunctional family you got distrusting Isaac, which Ben handled last week. God literally comes to Isaac and he says, I am going to bless you. He gives them all the same promises that he gave to Abraham. I’m going to bless you. I’m going to bless you in through your seed. All the worlds will be blessed. And Isaac was like, I don’t know if you’re really telling me the truth. I don’t really know if I’m hearing from God. Oh, I’m really doubting this whole situation. And yet, even in his doubt, God still blessed him and fulfilled his purpose for him. Obviously, to this point, all we see is Jacob going along with his mom and being dishonest and entering into this huge lie because again, you wonder if you would have just remained where he was or told his mom no, if God said it, God’s going to fulfill it. And how would God have fulfilled it if they wouldn’t have got involved? God would have figured it out. But we will never know this side of eternity because they decided to get ahead of God. Rebecca. Not only with her husband, but with her other son. And then you have this disconnected Esau. It’s hard to figure him out. Just this wanderer who doesn’t really seem, you know, too concerned about earthly things, but yet he doesn’t really seem too concerned about his relationship with God. The only thing he really wants is the affection of his father. 

But here’s the thing. Whenever you look at a biblical text, the most important thing to do is to put yourself where they’re at. Because as I look at these characters and I see what’s kind of transpired from 20, from chapter 25 to 27, I can easily say, you know what? I’ve had moments in my life where I haven’t trusted God. I could put distrusting Tim on this slide. I’ve had moments in my life when I’ve been dishonest with people, when I’ve lied to people, people that have been close to me. And you go, why would you do that? What good did you think would result from that? Every single time we lie, it never is for our good or anybody else’s good. How about being disloyal? I’ve been disloyal. There’s things in my life that I’m ashamed of that I’ve committed that I would never want anybody else to know. And what’s so fascinating about this is that so often, it’s because we disconnect from God. We go outside of his will. We forget his promises. We forget the importance of staying connected to him. And then all of these other things begin to manifest in our lives. What’s it for you? When have you had a hard time trusting God or being honest with those that God has placed in your life? Where do your loyalties fall? 

What are those moments when you’ve gone away from God instead of toward God? Here’s the beautiful part. This is the good news for you and for me this morning is God Almighty in heaven. When he looked down at the earth and he saw the mess that we got ourselves in, he didn’t just go, oh well, I’ll just destroy him, start over, start a new earth. No, he decided that he was going to send his one and only son, that he would come to this earth to rescue us out of the situation that we get ourselves in over and over and over again. And one of the the most amazing parts of Scripture is when Jesus is going into the waters of baptism and as Jesus is being baptized, it says, he comes out of the water and behold, the voice of Almighty God says these words, this is my son, with whom I am well pleased. The same voice, the same God that’s going to put his son on a cross and tell him to stretch out his arms, and to let him drive nails through his hands and his feet, and let him take the abuse that really is ours so that he could die. 

But three days later, he could come out of a tomb and he could declare victory over our dysfunctions. He could declare victory over our lies and our sins and our terrible ways that we get ourselves entrapped in our time on this earth so that he could hear our confessions. And exchange our sins for his forgiveness, and pick us back up and put us on the path that he has for us. That’s how amazing our God is. Amen. So think about this this morning. What is the most important inheritance we can receive? What is it? Is it earthly possessions? It’s faith. The faith that God gives us, the faith that he implants in our hearts. The faith that will carry us to and through our time on this earth. Until that day comes when we will see Jesus face to face. My challenge for you if you’ve never been in church or you’re far from God, realize that God is speaking into this moment. He’s drawing you to himself and he’s telling you today, I love you and I want a relationship with you. And no matter how difficult your life has been, no matter what sins you have committed, I see you, I know you, I love you, and I will forgive you. Amen.