Cheating & Lying

Good morning. It’s good to see all of you that are gathered here in person, and those of you that are joining us streaming in online, or whether you’re watching later on demand. My name is Tim. I get the privilege of being the lead pastor here. And if this is your first time, to Shepherd’s Gate, we would love to meet you right after the service. Through those doors, we have coffee and refreshments. I’ll be out there with Pastor Ben. And we would just like to thank you for being here. And if there’s any questions that we can answer for you, we would do that at this time. If you’re joining us online, you can jump in the chat. There’s people there, that can help you as well. As you heard, we are continuing in our series called Genesis Part four. And so if you’re brand new, the way that we’ve kind of, gone through Genesis is we believe in reading every single word of Scripture. And so whether we have a live reader or a lake, you just saw that was an extended video reading of the chapter today, because we have 55 verses to get 

through. 

And I know what you’re thinking. The game is at and there’s communion. So, pastor, here’s what I love about Shepherd’s Gate. People always ask, how long is your service? Here’s the answer. However long God wants it to be. Okay, just so you know. And some people ask, well, when do we have communion? Whenever we feel that we should have communion based on the text that we’re reading.

So we don’t really have a system anymore. We just do what we feel God is leading us to do. So sometimes you come here, the service may be 55 minutes, sometimes you come might be 65, sometimes 75. Because we just believe that when we gather together that God has something to say to us and see our approach as we go to the Word of God, and we allow God to dictate how we live our lives. We also believe that all of Scripture is inspired and is profitable, is useful for us. 

And when you go through an Old Testament book, especially as we’ve been looking at part four here, there’s some really convicting parts in these verses, and it can tend to be what we would call more law based than gospel based, just given the text and I want you to hear this. When we hear these things, they’re actually for our good. If we’re being convicted in a church service and we’re not just coming in and feeling light and fluffy, and it’s all about rainbows and unicorns, and we leave and, you know, joy to the world and all that good stuff. Like, if you’re leaving and God has convicted your heart, that is a good thing because this is what happens when you have a sinful, fallen nature that we all have.It’s kind of like a garbage disposal, and a bunch of crap goes into a garbage disposal, doesn’t it? And when we’re out there sinning and we’re thinking things and saying things and having bad attitudes and whatever the case may be, and it begins to sit in that garbage disposal, the garbage disposal only works if you do what, and who’s the one that needs to turn that thing on? 

God. God is the one that convicts our hearts, and he’s the one that is able to bring us that forgiveness to wash that stuff out. But here’s the good news is that God’s kindness leads us to repentance, that God is the one that’s always working and orchestrating the events of history, including our history and all the people that are around us for our good. And you’re going to see that again today. But before we get into this 55 verse chapter, can I just ask you a simple question? Why does it seem, in our day and age, that so many people struggle with forgiveness? Why do we struggle actually reconciling with other people in our lives? That is all. Communication. Ego. It’s all about them. Here’s how to do that. Besides the church, where else do you hear besides church? Self-centeredness. Self-centeredness. You guys are great this morning. I love this self agonizing, yes. And it is. It’s the reality of who we are and the nature that we’re always drawn to see. Some of you, you only get a snapshot of of me or or been on Sunday mornings. 

So you have a certain like Polaroid image of who we are. But believe it or not, we’re really good at sinning just like everybody else’s. I always say, if you want to get to know me, just join a leadership team here at Shepherds Gate, because sometimes I’m not always the easiest person to get along with. Or if you really want to know who I am, just ask my wife.

She’ll tell you all about me. And that is sometimes the struggle. The struggle is trying to navigate the world that we find ourselves in, the God that we serve, the purpose and reason that he’s put us on this planet. And to really, truly make those critical decisions each and every day. I just believe there’s a lot of resentment in our society. I believe this is just as what’s popular is that people I like to hold on to that bitterness and it becomes this control mechanism. And so we play mind games with each other, or we emote emotionally, manipulate each other when we’re hurt. You ever have people that just ignore you? 

Like they just turn a cold shoulder to you and you just know that something’s off? You’re going to totally see that in our text today. If you are new, let me just catch you up. We’ve been following a guy pretty much by the name of Jacob. He’s kind of our central figure. he grew up in this place called Bear Sheba. He’s a mama’s boy. He doesn’t really go outside and play. He doesn’t even go outside to hunt.

he likes to stay at home with his mom and cook. And he gets to an age where his parents realize he needs to get married. And so they decided they’re going to send him all the way up to Huron that he needs to go up there, and he’s to find a wife because they want him to be married within their family lineage. the second reason he has to leave is because he kind of deceived his brother, not once, but twice. And so his brother, basically says he’s going to kill him. So now he’s also fleeing for his life. And wouldn’t you know that on the way to go find his wife or who he thinks he’s going to marry, he stops in Bethel and God shows up and does an incredible work in his life. 

He makes some of these promises that he will never leave them or forsake them, that he’ll always be with them. Well, he gets all the way up to Haran and this is where he meets Leah and Rachel, Lee and Rachel. Their dad is actually Laban. And so through a series of events, he thinks he’s marrying Rachel. Laban tricks him and puts Leah in his tent on his wedding night, and the next morning he wakes up and realizes it’s the wrong sister, but it’s too late. And so leaving comes along and says, yeah, if you want to marry Rachel, then you’re going to have to actually stick around and you’re going to have to actually work harder because Rachel was the one that he actually really, truly loved. So what ends up happening is there’s all sorts of sin and dysfunction in this family. Leah has a servant. Rachel has a servant. They start having children. They even give their servants to Jacob, and he sleeps with them and they have kids. And so this is kind of where we’re at in the text. The only person that hasn’t been born at this point is Benjamin. 

 Benjamin is going to be coming in a few chapters. So you can see this guy has got a lot going on in his life. 14 years, two wives, 14 years. He’s got one daughter and 11 sons. So 12 kids. We can say that’s impressive like we did last week. And here we are 20 years later in our text last week in this week. And he’s really, truly working like a slave for his father in law, Laban. So he went from being mama’s boy, having the comforts of home to now working his tail off for two decades. And again, we’ve been looking at the idea of a toxic in dysfunctional family, Jacob deceiving his brother not once but twice in Laban deceiving Jacob not once, but twice because his last week we looked at they made a business transaction, and he made a deal about how they were going to break up the live stock. In the same day that they make the deal, Laban goes and he deceives Jacob again. And so as Jacob is figuring out that he’s been deceived by Laban again, he decides to double down. And so he comes up with a way to manipulate their live stock as well. 

And so we ended last week by Jacob. Every time that the livestock are being born and raised, he separates the strong ones on one side for himself and all the weak ones on the other side for Laban.

So this is where it starts. In verse one it says, Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wild from what belong to our father. So he hears the murmurs. He hears the rumors. People are talking like, hey, wait a second. All of that livestock looks really strong, and all of this livestock looks really weak. And I don’t think that’s by coincidence something manipulative is going on. He’s manipulating the family business for his own good and then wouldn’t you know, Jacob noticed that Laban’s wide attitude toward him was not what it had been. He’s getting that cold shoulder that we were talking about, like something’s not sitting right. It doesn’t seem happy to see him. Anybody have this happen in your life? Anybody ever get in a fight with your spouse right before you go to bed? 

And then you think that sleep is what will actually solve it, but then you wake up the next morning without one person saying a word, and you can just feel it. Apparently it’s just me. It’s just my marriage. We actually believe that everybody here is all happy and joy filled. This morning. Nobody came to church fighting. There’s really different levels of abuse that we can receive and that we can give. And if you just look at the life of Jacob, it actually starts off with physical abuse. And the person that’s physically abused is Jacob up when his father in law tricks him with the wrong sister.

And not only is Jacob physically abused, the two servants of Leah and Rachel are also physically abused when they’re told to go sleep with Jacob, the relational abuse comes in on, hey, you want to be part of this family? Then you have to marry both of them. Sorry, but that’s how it works around here. We all know from last week the financial abuse here. 

They are family, business and we know the statistics. So often families don’t work together in business or close friends struggle when it comes to money and having to share resources. I would submit to you that one of the most painful abuses that we inflict on each other is emotional abuse. Even without saying a word, just being around people or or the snarky kind of like attitude or aura that sometimes people are so good at giving others. Again, I think it’s a control thing. I think people purposely will act a certain way or they’ll just, you know, power or whatever the case may be, especially if they know the other person is wired to not like conflict. If the other person doesn’t like conflict, doesn’t want to enter into conflict, then they just get pissy or they just get mean, or they have a way of just emotionally manipulating the other person. Here’s what’s incredible God shows up and God says to Jacob, go back to the land of your fathers, into your relatives. And by the way, here’s the promise again I will be with you. Remember I told you I would be with you. 

I have never left you. I can see and hear everything that’s going on and your and your life. So if God speaks, we should listen in. And so he goes and sends word to the wives. Rachel and Leah, gets them out of the field and they come out of the field. And what’s the first thing they say? Okay, but we’re not leaving without our inheritance. Well, we know our dad’s rich. We know that he’s accumulated all this wealth. We know that if you saw in the text that he’s the one that sold us into this lifestyle, we deserve part of his estate. And Jacob has to convince them that this was the right thing, that this is actually from God. 

And so he’s the one that says, listen, wives, I had this dream. God actually showed up and it says Angel of God that actually refers to God. And I answered and he said these words, I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. So if you’re ever wondering, does God see and know every aspect of our lives? The answer is yes. But think of this Jacob has not heard from God for 20 years. 20 years God has been silent. And sometimes that’s what happens in our lives. We pray, we cry out, we go to church, we talk to others and we don’t get the answers that we want in the time that we want them. And so we think that God is distant or that he doesn’t care. But the reality is he sees and he knows every intricate detail of our lives. And again, he’s always orchestrating the people around us even more than we realize.

He’s always orchestrating all of these little things for our good. 

He reminds him, I am the God of Bethel. I’m the God that showed up to you halfway through your journey, where you had the pillar and where you made the vow to me so pack up all your stuff, Jacob, and get out of there. And that’s what he does. He puts the kids and the wives on the camel, drives his livestock ahead of them, and he gets out of Dodge. Now, what’s interesting is, right before this happens, Laban goes to shear his sheep. And Rachel, his daughter, stole her father’s household. God’s. You think this is a good idea? Can we say this is a little bit of poking the bear? Like, what are you doing? What are you thinking? Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban by not telling him he was running away. Can I just ask you? Would you have made notice to Laban? Would you have told Laban? Hey, just so you know, I’m out of here. God spoke. I’m out of here. Good luck. See you later. I’m done being your slave. And so he flees and he crosses the Euphrates River. And he heads up to the hill country of Gilead. So look at how far he made it, okay? 

I mean, that’s a long distance. He’s so close to Beersheba. He’s so close to getting back home. And he actually got a three day head start on this, because it wasn’t until the third day someone actually told Laban, hey, Laban, by the way. Jacob laughed. And he took your daughters and he took what he thought was his part of the estate. And what does Laban do? In response, he immediately gathers some of his relatives and he pursues Jacob for seven days. You imagine how angry this guy was. Imagine the conversations that must have been happening is they’re pursuing, relentlessly pursuing. And after seven days it says they caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. Now, here’s the interesting twist in this portion of scripture God shows up to Laban in a dream, and he says these words, be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad. Wait. Time out. Laban does not worship the one true God, Laban’s in the divination. He’s in his sorcery, and he’s in the false idols and gods which is why Rachel was able to steal those things. 

How is it that the God of the universe, the creator of heaven and earth, is able to break through in an unbelievers life? Again, it shows the sovereignty of God that God can penetrate any human heart or mind. And this is what’s so important. This is really important that we can’t bolt on this for a moment, because God can and does work in and through unbelievers for our good.

I’m going to say this again. God can and does work in and through unbelievers. Actually, for our good. This is a huge principle. For example, you find out that you have to go in for a major surgery and it’s going to be a long surgery and you’re going to be in recovery. You’re going to spend some time in the hospital. And this is massive for you and for your family. And so of course, you want to do your due diligence. And so what you’re going to do, because we live in the greatest country on the planet, and we have access to some of the best health care on the planet, you’re going to go and you’re going to interview different doctors, and you may go and interview different doctors based on some parameters.

One where did they go to school? Where’s their education from? 

Two how many years have they been, you know, practicing? And how many times have they done this procedure? And three, most importantly, you’re going to want to read their Google and Facebook reviews, correct? Because that’s how we assess things nowadays. And imagine you go and you’re doing your research and the first doctor that you come in contact with, you find out that they’re an atheist, but yet they’re highly qualified in what they do. The next doctor, you go in interview, you find out they’re from a different religion. So maybe they’re Islamic or they’re from a different faith background or whatever the case may be. And then the third Doctor, you go, who’s kind of the newest person on the block is a follower of Jesus. Which surgeon should you pick to perform your surgery? The one that is most qualified because God will work through that person, literally the face of Jesus. That he works all things out for our good. As Romans eight tells us to those who love God and have been called according to his purpose, this is really important. 

All the people that you see all day long, nonbelievers and believers. God again is the one pulling the levers. God is the one orchestrating all of those things. But go back to the beginning. It’s all in how you walk this earth. It’s all in how you perceive things. Because if you realize who God is and the way that he works, all things out for your good, then there’s a lot of times when you don’t have to get stressed out, or trying to control or manipulate everybody else around you, you can actually take a deep breath.

As a follower of Jesus and say, okay, I’m in this situation, I need it. I need to figure out how to how to make the best decision for myself, for my family. But I’m so thankful that God is greater than I am. I’m so thankful that his ways are higher than mine, and that he loves me, and that he’s going to figure this out for me and for my family. You would think Laban having this encounter with God would have converted him. Don’t you think that would have happened? But yet somehow it doesn’t. But yet he still ends up having somewhat of a fear of God or a healthy respect for God. 

This is what Laban says to Jacob when he wakes up from this encounter with God. He says, what have you done? You deceived me. You carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn’t you tell me so I could send you away with joy in singing to the music of Timbrel and harps? You didn’t even let me kiss my daughters and my grandchildren or say goodbye. I mean, how dramatic can you be? Does anybody believe this guy? Those of you that done with those the last few weeks, you think this is really, truly how he feels. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you. Ooh! Power play now. But guess what? Your God showed up last night and your God told me to be careful not to say anything to you, either good or bad. Imagine when Jacob heard those words. Wait, wait. What did you just say? Who showed up to you? You sure that wasn’t one of your little sorcery things again? Are you just making this up? Are you pulling my leg? My God showed up in a dream to you and told you. You better watch what you say to me. What a relief that must have meant for him.

And then instantly after he tells them that. Look at the next verse. Laban still speaking. Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father’s household, which is what he said. He’s. I just want to go home. I’ve been here two decades. I want to go back. I want to see Mom and Dad. I want to start my own life back in my own hometown. And what even goes on to say, why did you steal? My God, why did you steal my gods? What’s actually important to Laban? It’s not his daughters and his grandchildren. It’s his gods. For whatever reason, you can see in the scriptures that he is not converting. This isn’t some change of a heart that he’s actually taking toward God, who has the gods.

Rachel. And it repeats that he’s the one that took them, and she put them inside her camel saddle, and she’s sitting on them. And this is how this is how just crazy you can see Laban is, because he goes on this massive search of turning every single tent and every single satchel and everything that they own, and it brought to the journey upside down. 

I mean, he’s frantically searching for these gods. Rachel says, don’t be angry, my Lord. I cannot stand up in your presence. I’m having my period. How many of you believe Rachel? This is why I love the Bible. It is so much better than any mini series you could watch on HBO. Netflix, or Hulu. Honestly, folks, you can’t make this stuff up. This is why we encourage you actually to read the Bible. We love it when you read the text before you even come in here to see how it is that God would speak to you and unveil it to you. I mean, it is incredible. Lie after lie after deceit, after deceit, after deceit. And he continues to search high and low to the point that Jacob actually gets angry at him and he says, do come on, look at all that I’ve done for you. Look how hard I’ve worked here. Let me go through the history of our relationship over the last 20 years. And he ends by saying this you changed my wages. How many times? 

Remember we started off by saying, leaving has  deceived Jacob. How many times? This is the first time that we’re seeing this. How many times? As Laban actually deceived Jacob? 12 can I ask you if your employer changed your wages just once? How many of you would be sticking around? You’d be on indeed. So fast. You been calling headhunters, you’d be trying to find another job. Ten. What? That thing in ten. This guy’s been beat up by this guy ten times. Of course he wants to get out of there. Laban goes right back to it. The women are my daughters. The children are my children. And by the way, the flocks are my flocks. Trying to put him back in his place, trying to remind him that all that he has is because of him. So he thinks all you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters or about the children you have bought? And then in a crazy series of events he says, come now, let’s make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us. 

Wait, what? You want to reconcile? You want to come up with an agreement that’s going to leave both parties happy in this situation? I mean, how many of you, honestly, you would trust Laban at this point? Number. The last time they made a deal with the flock. Oh, I’ll take the speckled and the striped and the ones over here and leave. And you can have these ones and just let me, you know, do the thing over here and I’ll increase this herd, which is the lesser of the two. And then once I do that, and I get it to the place where I feel comfortable, then I can leave and go back to my homeland and remember the same day. Leaving is the one that went and took the the agreement and broke it apart. Why would he listen to Laban? How in the world could you possibly trust him? Yet in some way he does. And he takes the stone just like he did at Bethel. And he sets it up as a pillar. And this is really cool, I love this. He actually gets his relatives involved, and he gets them to gather some stones, and they pile him up in this heap. 

And here they are as a witness. So the fact that these two families and these two men in particular, are somehow even with different faiths, even with different backgrounds, are able to come together in agreement. And it says, I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you, and you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. They drew a line in the sand, didn’t they? How many of you you ever shared a bedroom with a sibling? Any of you, in the course of that, ever get out the duct tape and draw a line? I used to have to share a bedroom with my brother and he did that exact same thing. The problem was that after he drew the line, I said, Bill, there’s no way for me to get out of the bedroom now. Think about how we do that with wars in countries, lines that have been drawn, the lines that we have that divide us constantly. And here they are coming up with this incredible agreement, both parties and saying, all right, here it is. And everyone has seen it and everyone bears witness to what is happening in this moment. So much so. And I told you we’d get to verse 55. It ends this way early the next morning, kissed his grandchildren and his daughters. 

He blesses home and he leaves and he returns home. Man, I didn’t see that coming, did you? Did you think that that was how this week was going to end and what it does? Again, the obvious point in all of this, what it should do for our hearts as we read this text, is ask ourselves, is there an area in our life where we’re holding on to resentment and unforgiveness? Is there some garbage in our garbage disposal that we’ve been letting linger there? And so rather than addressing it and rather than praying and inviting God into that situation, instead we just let it sit there because we like to be resentful, we like to cop attitudes, and we’re not emotionally manipulate other people. And maybe today you’re here and God is using this tax, and he’s using this service as a way to speak to you to see that’s actually not what is best for you.

That’s not his plan for you. And I know because I know many of you, you have family members that have hurt you deeply. Some of the things that they’ve said, things that they’ve done. You’re like looking at this text saying this child’s play. Let me tell you my story. Let me tell you the toxicity and the people that I’ve dealt with and the levels of dysfunction and hate and animosity. And yet, God, in his mercy and his grace, has this incredible way to call us out on that, to say, you see that area of your life. I actually want to take that from you. Those feelings that you have, I want to release those from you, whether the other person deserves it or not, whether the other person is right or wrong. What’s most important to me for you is that you understand who you are in Christ, and that I see you and know you and love you. And I’ve never stopped working out my perfect plan for you, which includes giving you the ability to forgive even those you think don’t deserve it, or unforgivable. See, Jesus had a lot to say about forgiveness when he walked this earth. 

There’s a lot of things that that he did to bring people to himself, to show them, and to model for us how we are to live our lives on this earth. In fact, in one teaching, one of his most famous teachings on the sermon on the Mount, he said these words if you’re offering your gift at an altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar first. The first thing you ought to do is go and be reconciled to them, and then you can come and offer your gift. I wonder how many times we let days and weeks and months and sometimes even years go by, and we just let these things faster in our hearts, in our lives. Even so, those that were closest to him, one of his closest disciple, Peter, who is trying to understand this whole idea of how many times we we should forgive someone because we like the expression when we say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on who.

And it’s kind of like what Peter does when he comes to Jesus and he says, Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? And if you know Peter at all in Scripture, you know he’s kind of a loud mouth of the group, and he always likes to get ahead of Jesus. And I love because he kind of ask a question and then he asks another question that’s really just helping Jesus answer the question that he’s asking. And he says, Jesus seven times, right? So after somebody manipulates or lies to me seven times, I’ll forgive them. But as soon as they go a step further, then I don’t have to forgive them anymore. And Jesus, of course, looked at Peter and said, yep, that’s exactly right. No. Every single time he flips the script and he tells, I tell you not seven times, but 77 times.

Cuz a few months ago we had a member of our church, long term member here. In fact, she had kind of fallen away from Shepherds Gate and recently over the last two years have been reconnected to us as a church and we got the call in the office that she was being moved to assisted living. 

And the reason she was being moved there is because her doctor told her that she has cancer and it is all over her body, and that there’s absolutely nothing that they can do. They can’t do surgery, they can’t do chemo, they can’t do radiation. And so as we got the news and we were trying to figure out schedules and who should go and visit her because she’s been here for so long and I’ve been here for a long time, and I had a previous relationship with her, and knowing who she was, I said, well, I’ll go and I’ll never forget because I walked into the assisted living facility and we caught eyes and instantly tears were coming down her cheeks, and we sat there at a table and she began to tell me everything that was going on in her life, talking about all the hardships that she had experienced up to this point. And in the context of that conversation, she opened up and shared with me that she had been estranged from her family, and that none of the family knew where she was or what was going on, and she didn’t talk to them in a very long time because of all of the things that had happened in the past. 

Words that have been said, shots fired at each other. And she said, Tim, I know I’m dying. They’re putting me on hospice. I know my time is short. What should I do? What do you think she should do? I said, I know I can’t take away the hurt and pain that you’ve experienced. I can’t understand all of the intricacies of what has happened in your family. But I would encourage you, before you breathed your last breath, to reach out to each and every one of them one last time. And if all you can muster up are these words. Forgive me, I love you. Then just say those two phrases and at least you know your conscience is cleared. At least you know that you made. That is something. If you want our help in doing that, we can help you give us the numbers, whatever the case may be, so that you don’t leave this side of eternity. Knowing that things were unresolved in your life. And thanks be to God. We were able to do that, and she was able to have those conversations with her family members. But what about the rest of us? 

How many of us are still holding on to those areas of our lives? How many of us are still just with Finch clenched? We’re just like, not going to forgive somebody. We’re just going to hold onto that bitterness and resentment. And God is saying, no. Today is the day to let go. Today is the day to hand it over to me. And watch as I take those feelings and those hardships from you. And again, I restore you and give you the peace that only I can give you. Today we’re going to do something a little bit different. So often we say the Lord’s Prayer after we receive Holy Communion. And there’s a certain line in the Lord’s Prayer you might recognize this one where we say the words, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And so what we’re going to do in a moment is we’re going to stand and we’re going to have a time of confession, and we’re going to start out saying the Lord’s Prayer. And when we get to this part of the Lord’s Prayer, we are going to intentionally pause, and it’s going to be in that moment when we’re going to ask God to give us the courage to confess the things that he’s already working and speaking to us about today. 

So will you do that now with me? Will you please stand? In in a posture of humility before Almighty God, who sees and knows all things, let’s say these words together. Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Let’s continue. Paul. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Forever and ever. Amen. Know that your heavenly father has heard your confession. And because of his son, Jesus Christ, because of the price he paid on the cross for each and every one of us, he does, in fact forgive you of all of your sins, and he cleanses you from all unrighteousness. In the name of the father and the son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.