I Will Protect My Marriage at All Costs

Well, good morning! It’s good to see all of you this morning. My name is Tim. I get the privilege of being one of the pastors here, and whether you’re joining us in person, you’re streaming in online, you’re joining us from First Algonac, or you’re watching later on demand, we’re just glad that you’re giving up of your time to be with us.

If we haven’t met yet, I’ll be in that West Lobby right in the middle of it after the service, and I’d love for you to come up and introduce yourself, and it just gives me an opportunity for thank you, to thank you for being here, and if you’re watching online, there’s people in the chat that would love to chat with you or answer any questions that you may have, as we are in week three of our sermon series called My Marriage Matters, and sermon series just means a series of messages. Sometimes they’re three weeks, sometimes they’re six weeks, sometimes they’re two and a half years. Just all depends on what’s going on around here.

And just one last final reminder that today’s message is PG-13, so if your kiddos are here, there is going to be content that’s shared in the course of this sermon that you might not want them to hear, or if they are here and you’re like, that’s fine, and at any point you’re like, nope, that’s not fine, and you need to take them out, I totally understand that and respect that. People will often ask, well why do you do a PG-13 message? Why do you do this? Any guesses? Well good, there’s two reasons. Number one, we all know we’re living in a society that’s saturated with sexual content.

I mean, I think we’ve actually probably, if we’re willing to admit, have become immune to some of the things that we see and hear, and Hollywood is still trying to figure out how to make things even worse. I mean there’s not a TV show or a movie or a series, any of those things that don’t somehow have sexually explicit content in it. But number two, as many of you said, it’s because it’s in the Bible, and the more you read the Bible, the more you dig into Scripture, you will find it addressing specific things when it comes to our physical bodies, in the context of even how we treat our bodies and how we are to live in view of what it is that God has called us, in the boundaries that he has placed us in, all over Scripture, and so we’re gonna be looking at that today as well.

And then next week will be the opposite of this week, it’ll be a very family-friendly service. You might even want to have your kids here, because we’re gonna say that your marriage is actually a bigger priority than your kids. The kids aren’t here, so you can amen it, right? You should, every once in a while, maybe go on a date night or spend money on yourself and not give all of your money, time, and energy to your kids.

Okay, well, I guess you guys are all empty nesters, maybe that’s for the next service. Here’s our key verse, we always have a key verse in a sermon series, and this is our key verse for this sermon series, is that God’s the one who said, a man shall leave his father and mother, so he leaves mom and dad, he goes and he’s connected to his wife, they become one flesh. Remember we said this last week, it’s not just a physical connection, it’s not just an emotional connection, most importantly, it’s a spiritual connection within the context of marriage, in that covenant that God has designed.

That’s why Jesus repeats Genesis chapter 2 in Matthew, and he’s the one that actually adds to the scripture, because he can, because he’s God, and says what God has joined together, let no one separate. Now, many of us are familiar with this verse, it’s the one that gets read at weddings. I just did a wedding last week, I got two weddings coming up this week, I will read this scripture at both of those weddings that are coming up.

Does anybody know what Genesis 2 25 says? Because no one ever reads Genesis 2 25 at a wedding, did you know that? This is where the PG 13 part comes in, are you ready? This is getting the scriptures in its full context, where it says, and the man and his wife were both naked. Can I say that word in church? Yes you can! They’re naked, and not only are they naked, they’re what? Because it’s within the context of marriage, and where God has that, that to take place. And so honestly, people sometimes get confused by this, and it may even be because of your background, or your church background.

There was a period of time when it, when it seemed like the church, all they would do was rail on one side of sex, and it was always like, you know, it’s bad, it’s evil, it’s awful, unless it’s in the context of marriage, which you only should do it if you’re gonna procreate. And that’s actually not what the scriptures teach. It is a sacred union, yes there’s an identification that comes with this, that the two become one flesh.

There’s a spiritual connection. It’s also for procreation. I mean, that’s why there’s so many people on the planet.

Jesus told them, be fruitful and multiply. God also says in Scripture that happy is the man whose quiver is full. And for all of our hunters who aren’t here this morning, because they’re out killing Bambi, what a cool scripture.

Have lots of kids. The more kids you have, dads, apparently the happier you’ll be. And then look at the last word.

What’s the last word say? You can’t say that in church. Wait, sex is recreational? Sex is enjoyable? I can have fun in the bedroom with my spouse? Yes, absolutely. God is the creator of our bodies.

God’s the one who designed it to have pleasure. Why would he have done that if he did not want us to experience that in the context of marriage? Now, I want you to look at this, because many of you have said these vows or similar vows if you’ve been married or if you’re married now. And we know these vows have been around for a long time.

That in this part of the wedding ceremony, the couple, they turn and they face each other, they lock hands, and more importantly, they lock eyes and they lock souls, and they say these words that they are going to commit to this person to have and to hold from this day forward. That this day is going to be a day that’s special to us, for better or for worse. Anybody that’s married, have any bad times in your marriage? And did you give up when the bad times came? No one ever gives up when the times are good.

It’s for worse, for richer, for poorer. Anybody marry for money? Anybody marry somebody because they were poor and you’re just like, I just want to fulfill this commitment to this person for the rest of my life? How about this one? In sickness and in health. And I’ve been amazed at the couples that we have here at Shepherds Gate.

And when one spouse is diagnosed or is fighting for their life, the amount of love and care that I have witnessed from my fellow brothers and sisters and the way that they have fulfilled their wedding vows. And I know some of you are here today and it’s even difficult to sit through a marriage series because your spouse is no longer with us. And I just think for a moment we should just pause and recognize them and thank God for them and the incredible commitment that they made to their spouses.

Can we do that this morning? And each and every time it’s made me a stronger spouse as I have witnessed the way they have sacrificially lived their lives and holding on to their loved ones to the very end. But look at what it says next. Forsaking all others.

What does that mean? Anybody know? You’ve heard it. You’ve heard this said at the weddings. What does it mean to forsake all others? That from now on there is not going to be another person that you are going to allow to come into your life with the level of intimacy in the relationship that you have with this person.

There’s no more dating. There’s no more courting. You ready for this? There’s no more flirting with anybody else that your spouse is your number one human priority.

Which is what we talked about last week. And it goes on to say that I will be faithful to you and you alone as long as we both shall live. And so the only way for this to be broken is if a spouse passes away or there’s abuse or there’s neglect or someone completely walks away from the marriage.

Hold on to that, okay? Because we’re going to look at a passage of scripture from the Old Testament. And it’s a guy, his name’s King David, and it’s kind of an extraordinary character in scripture. We get a lot of detail about him starting from when he was very old or very young all the way up until he’s a very old man.

And he starts off by just being a shepherd boy. He’s the youngest in his family and this prophet comes to his dad’s house and he is trying to anoint the next king of Israel, the next king of the people of God. And he goes through all of his brothers and the prophet says, well I don’t feel that God is calling any of these guys to be the anointed one.

And he says, are you sure you don’t have any other kids? And the dad’s like, oh yeah, that’s right. My quiver is full. We’re so full I don’t even remember all my kids.

There’s this other one that’s out in the field and so they go and get him. This is David. And as soon as David is in front of the prophet, he’s like, this is it.

This is the one that God has chosen to lead my people. He’s very famous because a lot of people know the story of David and Goliath when he was willing to step up and to fight this insane giant and to completely change the directory of God’s people. And he rose to prominence.

I mean his social media feeds went viral. He became the most popular person. Everything went in his direction and now here he is.

We’re gonna pick up in the scripture where he’s later on in age. He’s married. He’s got kids.

He has everything at his disposal. There’s nothing that he needs or wants. He’s already won several battles.

He has all the money he could ever want. He is the final stop. He is the king of Israel.

And it says this in 2 Samuel, if you have your Bibles, if you want to turn there, 2 Samuel chapter 11 beginning in verse 1 it says, in the spring at the time when kings go off to war, so even they were smart enough to not fight in the winter, right? David sends Joab out with his king’s men and the whole Israelite army and they destroy the Ammonites and besieged Rabbath. But David remained in Jerusalem. So here’s the little nugget here is that he’s actually not doing what he’s supposed to.

He’s supposed to be going off and fighting in war because that’s what kings did. They would be the ones that would encourage their armies and they’d be the ones that would lead their armies. And so because he’s in the position that he’s in, he instead gives this task to Joab.

But here’s what’s interesting and I want you to see how this plays out as like a love novel, okay? It says this, it happened. It happened. What happened? We’re going to get into that.

Late one afternoon when David arose from his couch, because you can lay on the couch and take naps all day when you have everything at your disposal, and he’s walking on the roof of his house because he’s the king and what does it say? He he saw from the roof a woman bathing. Pause. What should he have done? Turn around and walk back into the house and go lay back on the couch.

But he didn’t. He continued to stare at her because she was beautiful. So David decides he’s going to inquire and find out who this beautiful woman is.

And they tell him, oh that’s Bathsheba. And by the way, I want you to think about this. This is what they’re telling the king.

He’s a daughter and he’s a wife or she’s a wife. She’s a daughter and she’s a wife. She’s a daughter and she’s a wife.

But that’s not what David did. He sends messengers to come bring her to him and he sleeps with her. He commits adultery in his own life, he commits adultery in her life, and then as soon as they have this one afternoon stand, she actually leaves and goes back to her house.

And wouldn’t you know in this one moment, this one act, this one sin, she conceives and she sends word to David when she figures this out and tells him that she’s pregnant. Isn’t that crazy? One moment. One afternoon.

Starting with just what he could see has now moved into adultery, which he thought he could get away with. She thought she could get away with. And now all of a sudden they have this new reality that they’re going to have to figure out how to navigate.

Now I’m sure many of you have heard the saying that desperate people do desperate things, right? You’ve all heard that? When people have their back against the wall, it’s amazing. People you never thought would ever do anything will actually do things to protect their own reputation. Well, how about this? How about if we change the slogan to this? That desperate sinners do desperate things.

And desperate sinners do desperate things when they don’t want to get caught. And you and I are those desperate sinners. You and I with the sin that entangles our lives, the things that we’ve allowed to creep in, or people will use this expression, giving the devil a foothold, which the devil just wants to kill and destroy us, when slowly but surely the inside of us, our souls, began to rot.

And now all of a sudden we got to come up with creative ways to cover our tracks. The problem in their situation is that there’s a baby growing inside of Bathsheba. Everybody’s gonna know that something happened while her husband was off to war.

And what’s so crazy is David comes up with this idea that he’s going to try to cover his tracks. And so he calls the general of his army and he tells him to send her husband home and then he’s gonna bring her husband home and he’s gonna say to him, why don’t you take the weekend off? Why don’t you go sleep with your wife and then after you have the weekend off I’ll send you back and you can continue fighting in battle. And this way everyone will think that this child that she’s pregnant with is yours and not mine.

It’s a great plan, don’t you think? I mean that makes for a great Netflix series, doesn’t it? The crazy part is Uriah, even though he’s off to battle, even though he hasn’t been with his wife, he comes back and he does the exact opposite. He actually gives David a history lesson. And he says, look at this, there’s no way that I can go and be with my wife.

First of all, he gives this whole lesson on how much he respects God. That the Ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths and there’s no way that I would ever do anything contrary to what God has called us to do. Not only so, that he believed in the rules that are in Deuteronomy that when you’re off to war that you don’t go home, that you don’t go back and sleep with your wife.

And the third thing he does is said there’s no way that I am going to do this and enjoy this free weekend getaway when I know that my fellow soldiers are out there fighting in battle and they don’t have the opportunity to go home and be with their spouses. I mean who does that? Who wouldn’t take the king up on this incredible offer, this free weekend? I mean he does the exact opposite of what you expect him to do. And here you have two men with two completely, utterly different responses.

So David’s kind of scratching his head because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s like, oh man that’s that’s because this is gonna be tough. There’s no way I can force this guy to go home.

There’s no way I can force this guy to sleep with his wife. So he comes up with this other plan. He’s gonna have him come in and he’s going to give him alcohol.

Sounds like a good plan isn’t it? And he’s gonna give him so much alcohol that he’s going to make him drunk. And then when he’s drunk then he’s gonna take him to his house and in that state then he’s going to sleep with his wife and the plan will be complete and he’ll have fooled everyone and he’ll have, he’ll be able to hide his sin. And we all know that good things happen when we drink, right? No one has ever gotten in trouble by drinking too much.

It’s never led to babies or to sin or to people doing terrible, awful things. But that’s exactly what he tries to do to this man. He is part of helping this guy sin.

He makes him drunk and in the evening he doesn’t even go back to his house. So here’s David. One deception after another after another and realizing that there’s no way that he can come up with another plan, he does the most unthinkable thing.

This is one of the hardest scriptures to fathom in this whole account because in that morning when he realized that he couldn’t get him to do it, he writes a letter to his general and he gives the letter to Uriah. So Uriah is holding a letter that is sealed that he has no clue what’s in this letter and he goes and hands it to the general. The general opens the letter and he realizes that he’s being told to go to the front lines and so he goes to the front lines of battle because David knows if I put him on the front lines surely he will die.

And what does he do? He murders the guy. That’s some pretty crazy stuff, isn’t it? Some pretty dark stuff in scripture. This final act of David trying to cover his tracks and he kills this innocent guy that’s full of character and love for the Lord and love for his people that he’s even willing to go off to battle.

Of course, when Bathsheba hears about it, she’s devastated. She’s mourning his loss. And when that time was over, David brings her into his house.

She becomes one of his wives. She bears him a son. And not surprising that the scriptures would tell us that this displeases the Lord.

God is not happy with King David and what it is that he’s done with this blessing that he has put on his life and all of the ways in which God has provided to David up to this point that we think we can hide things from God. So let me ask you this, you ready? Because I know this is intense this morning. How do you want God to respond when you’re caught in your sin? You ever think about that? What do you want God to say or to do to you? And there’s a difference, isn’t it, when you come and you confess that sin and you say I’m battling this thing and you get it out and you get it open in front of people versus when you’re actually caught, someone catches you doing something and all of a sudden you’re like, well how long are we gonna let this thing go on for? Because first and foremost we have to figure out, okay, what is it that we want God to do? How do we want Him to respond and how does He respond to people in scriptures? And how about this, how would you want your spouse to respond if you were caught in your sin? Anybody? How would you want them to treat you? Mercy.

Now you can imagine here at Shepherds Gate and the amount of people that we have coming through our doors and the dynamics of relationships that people have here and there are people that will come in and meet with a pastor and tell us the struggles that they are going through and part of the oath that we take when we become a pastor is that we will not share the sins that are shared with us and this includes even amongst us pastors so if someone comes in and meets with me I don’t share that with Ben or Eric and likewise that’s just how it works and as we hear these sins most often it’s in view of a confession and the person needs to hear from us that God sees them He knows them and that He loves them and that He will forgive them. And it just so happens that there are some couples in our church that have dealt with this very thing and how difficult and heavy the situation can be when you have a spouse that unfortunately gets caught up in a sin and gets led away and it could be for various reasons and various circumstances and I’ve asked like well what is it that you would say to somebody that you know is on the verge of making a terrible decision or if you could stand where I’m at here on Sunday morning and you could say to to someone that maybe is flirting with somebody at work or starting to go down a road or starting to do something that they know is against the vows that they made when they were married and here’s the response be patient wait on God have open dialogue with each other don’t hide from one another in fact the more dialogue that you have the more conversations that you can have that it can be part of the healing process get a pastor involved get a counselor involved we’re blessed that we live in a time when we have professionally trained counselors that walk people through some of the darkest times in their marriages and even though you would have every biblical right you could say well this person cheated on me I have every right to end and dissolve this marriage that the advice is this is to wait and to give God an opportunity to bring healing to that situation don’t you find that incredible but that’s what the advice that they would give you today and obviously there’s so many circumstances and so many nuances to this and there are people that have been in abusive relationships and of course that needs to leave the divorce and people that have been unfaithful they’ve been unfaithful over and over and over again it’s worn a divisive person wants and then have nothing to do with them I’m not talking about any of those situations I’m talking about whatever it is for you in getting somebody else part of that conversation and part of helping you bring healing and wholeness to your marriage it’s interesting and it’s in David’s case he’s the king who’s gonna challenge the king who’s gonna come and tell him that what he’s doing is wrong and wouldn’t you know thanks be to God they had prophets back then just like we have pastors today and God calls this guy named Nathan and Nathan says to David why have you despised the Lord the Word of the Lord to do what is evil in his sight you have struck down Uriah with the sword and you’ve taken his wife and you allowed him to die at the hands of our enemies what is God doing in this moment bring somebody else into his life to call out that sin to be blunt with them to tell them that what you’re doing is wrong and you can’t continue to live like this or think that you’re just gonna brush this over and cover this up David with all the power in his hands how do you think he responded to Nathan what would you do if you’re called out from your sin what should you do repent and this is what’s so crazy because in the next verses it says that David said to Nathan I have sinned against you first and foremost the Lord that something had to happen deep inside David’s heart to realize that what he was doing was wrong and he had a humble himself even be the king of the nation even having everything that he could possibly ever hope dream or imagine he had to admit that he submits to a higher authority that somebody is higher than him in the grand scheme of things he had to say those words I have sinned against God now here’s what’s remarkable in the passage is that Nathan is actually able to say to David in the very next verse was it say the Lord has put away your sin you shall not die wait timeout that doesn’t make too much sense does it why does he get forgiveness right away why does God instantly forgive him and use Nathan to be the one to deliver that forgiveness to him why shouldn’t David have to pay why shouldn’t David be dragged before a court why shouldn’t David be made a public spectacle in the square why shouldn’t everybody know about David’s sin and this is the scandalous part about being a follower of Jesus and truly understanding what it is that Jesus gives us on the cross that when we confess our sins he’s the one who’s faithful not us he’s the one who’s just not us and he’s the one that forgives us of our sins and he cleanses us not just from some righteousness but from all righteousness and then he parts our sin as far as the East is from the West and it says that he remembers our sins no more how many of you are having a hard time understanding that this morning in context of David I don’t want to forgive David do you want to forgive David God don’t forgive him did you forget what he did he put her into his house first he saw he lusted with his eyes then he tricked her husband got him drunk then he murdered him God you’re really gonna forgive David after all of these things that he’s done just in a blink of an eye and that’s what’s so crazy about the gospel is the answer is yes God will absolutely forgive you of your sins in a blink of an eye if you confess them to him and you have a contrite heart before the Lord and then we have to say to ourselves thanks be to God he forgives us of our sins thanks be to God that we live in that kind of relationship with our God because I and I don’t know where you’re at this morning would never want my sins put on this big screen behind us I would not want you to know my sins and I don’t pretty sure I don’t want to know all of your sins okay unless you need help and you need someone to pronounce forgiveness over you then yes that’s the role that I play here and the other pastors play here at Shepherds Gate the amazing grace and mercy of our God now are there consequences to sin absolutely does it destroy relationships and have you destroyed trust with the person that you did this to absolutely and is it gonna take days weeks months and sometimes years to bring healing and sometimes maybe there never is always complete trust in the person that’s done this to you yes absolutely all of those things are true but it does not mean that you are not forgiven by your heavenly Father and look at what it says you shall not die this is not just a physical death that he’s talking about this is a spiritual death that because of the sins that David committed that he is now sent to hell for all eternity that God is saving his soul and redeeming his soul that is the greatest gift that David is receiving and yet look at what you can see in the passage the consequence that’s going to come from this is that this child that’s going to be born is going to die which for a moment wrap your mind around this because Jesus comes from the line of David Jesus knows God knows that eventually he will send Jesus to this earth as a baby whose main mission and number one mission is to die for the sins of the world that even in this terrible awful account in scripture that this is a foreshadowing of what it is God will do for each and every one of us amen now I want you to see what the Scriptures teach us in the New Testament about this if you want to know God’s will for your life and for for you as a human being and even your sexual relationship it’s this it’s God’s will that you should be sanctified that means set apart sanctification means you’re set apart and that each and every day you work out your salvation that you should avoid sexual immorality I think we can all agree that that’s a good idea to avoid that each of you ready for this should learn to control your own body which is really hard to do it’s really hard to do when you have images and messages coming at you constantly I mean sometimes it’s even frustrating isn’t it to want to watch a football game with your family and the crap and the garbage that we get to watch during commercial time isn’t it and again I think so many of us me included just gotten used to it we become desensitized to it all of these things vying against our attention and what it should be on we are to honor our bodies in a holy and honorable away not in passionate lust like those that don’t know God we are followers of Jesus we recognize Jesus is the one who created us he knows us the best and he’s the one that gives us the guard rails and the parameters for our lives how about this God says marriage should be honored by all everyone should uphold the value of marriage and that the marriage badge should be kept pure for God will judge the adulterer the unconfessed adulterer and we like to pick on the people that are the adulterers and oh by the way it also says and anything else you can come up with any other sexual sin or lust or anything else that you allow into your life that is unconfessed before our Heavenly Father the marriage bed being kept here this these Greek words in here are so interesting because one of the Greek words is actually the word we get for porn it’s porno Nia and it specifically talks about the relationship that you have between husband and wife and these words when you combine them together it talks about any out any influence that comes from outside of the marriage bed and any influence that comes within the marriage bed that someone is bringing in to that relationship that’s how much God wants to protect the sanctity of marriage and the sexual union which exists between a husband and a wife because here’s the reality folks secrecy will always be the enemy of intimacy every single time keeping secrets keeping text messages downloading apps that don’t track things people using those browsers that don’t track data or switching in and out or whatever those things that that you may have gotten yourself caught up in listen to me God sees that and he knows that and he has you here or you’re listening online for a reason he’s using me as uncomfortable as a sermon is to speak to you to warn you to say hey now is the time to stop to get the help that God so desperately wants to give to you today the scripture tells us that it is kindness that leads us to repentance that God wants to take you by the hand and destroy this area this stronghold that the devil has on your life or those of you that may be on the verge of entering into a relationship or doing something that’s contrary to what God has for you and God in his grace and his mercy is speaking to you today look what else it says sensual immorality is occurring which I find this fascinating Paul’s just saying that he wrote this to the church in Corinth hey you’re living in a society when it’s all around you people are saying and doing whatever they want and now it’s all over the internet because all the tick tocks and the grams and everything in between all of these experts podcasters they’re all obsessed with sex and sex outside of marriage and body counts and all this other crap that’s constantly out there no different than the society that we live in sexual immorality all around us this is what he says each man should have sexual relationships with guess who his own wife you should have sex with your wife guys and each woman with her wife duh seems so simple doesn’t it the husband should fulfill his marital duty what do you think he’s talking about there paying the mortgage doing the dishes mowing the grass what is he talking about what are the marital duties to his wife he should what let’s just say it the kids are in the other room he should have sex with her and likewise the wife should do what to her husband have sex with him I can tell you this if you are in a sexless marriage you are not in a marriage you are in a dysfunctional relationship there’s two exemptions to this okay two one is abuse and two if there are medical reasons and abuse oftentimes is something that may be connected to a person’s past that they’ve never properly dealt with and gotten the counseling in order to heal from that listen to me if you are in a sexless marriage I don’t care how old you are or what the circumstance is I have a really good friend who’s a pastor and him and his wife actually have their own curriculum and series of videos and counseling that they will walk through with you to help bring healing and restoration to that area of your marriage the sexual union is a gift from God you can amen that the sex that happens inside the marriage bed is an incredible gift it’s the intimacy it’s the recreation that we looked at at the beginning that God would give that to you as an incredible gift and I would encourage you to seek help to seek that personnel if you want to know who that is send me an email or meet with me or get ahold of one of the other pastors and we’ll get there get your get you their contact information and I’ll tell you this I would never send somebody to somewhere that I have not been myself and so my wife and I we actually met with them and we walked through their curriculum we walked through what it is that they do with couples and can I tell you this folks you’re ready because you know I’m very transparent my sex life is now better because I met with them and you all said that’s awesome Jim good for you because I believe Christians should be having the best sex on the planets I don’t know if they’re gonna use that for my social media clip this week if you wonder if they I’ll just say it again I believe Christians should be having the best sex on the planet because it’s God’s design and he’s the one that knows it the best amen this is why it says the wife does not have authority over her own body but she freely gives it to her husband in the same way the husband doesn’t even have authority over his own body he freely gives it to his wife he wants to be with her he wants to be intimate in the bedroom he wants to have this connection with her but again it’s always distorted by the world it’s always distorted by porn or now if you even look at what’s popular now this website called only fans where we have all of these young girls that are putting themselves on there because they figure out they could just show whatever they think they can show and make a little bit of money then they don’t have to worry about anything else in life and yet they did a survey recently and found out that 89% of married people are actually watching only fans 89% of the people on these websites are married or women that use sex as a bargaining chip or manipulative tactic and if you look at these scriptures that’s not what it says to do that you come together you enjoy one another that this is a gift a precious gift from God and so here’s our challenge this week is that all of us in the context of our relationships whether you’re married you’re dating you’re engaged whatever the case may be is that you will confide in that person and you will not hide from that person anymore and I want you to grab that card that was handed on the way and can you go ahead and grab that that they gave you and each and every week we’ve been giving you these homework assignments and I know this is intense I know this is an intense topic to talk about but it’s so necessary and needed in our society in our culture and in our lives today and this is what we want you to do this week because I just wonder if one of the biggest hurdles of marriages today are the little tiny computers that we have now attached to our bodies permanently and I wonder if cell phones have become one of the biggest barriers to the relationship that God wants us to have with one another and so we purposely wrote this challenge that we would remove all of those barriers all of the technology and instead figure out a way to invest in one another now I know I’m going long today and I know there’s a lot to cover but I want to give you this one example of one of the things that Lisa and I did when the kids were young and how much she appreciated this because people think I can’t I can’t be without my cell phone I can’t be without my smartwatch what if there’s an emergency what if something happens with one of my kids and when we were dating early on what we would do is we have a babysitter at the house and we would go to a restaurant and we would purposely leave our cell phones in the glove box of the car we would go into the restaurant without our cell phones did you hear me scandalous isn’t it and we would tell the receptionist we just want you to know that we left our cell phones in the car and that our babysitter has the number to the restaurant and if there’s an emergency they’re gonna call and they’re gonna say there’s a couple there that doesn’t have their cell phones we just want you to know that this is the table that we’re at we’re that couple and you know what every single time the receptionist said to us they wouldn’t they didn’t say oh you’re so annoying or imagine if everyone did this oh now we got to serve you every single time the receptionist said this and they’re always the younger kids aren’t they the next generation kids they said that is so cool that is so awesome you got it write it down and they would remember it and we would have to sit there and have dinner and talk to each other and we could never look down on our cell phone we could never look at our watch go to a restaurant that doesn’t have a bunch of TVs on the walls either okay challenge yourself push yourself into that sanctified living to live like no one else so that you can have a marriage like no one else amen amen I’m gonna leave you with this verse as we prepare