Today, we’re unpacking how prioritizing your marriage sets the tone for parenting, discipleship, and long-term faith in the home — whether you have little ones, grown kids, or aren’t yet parents. Because no matter your stage in life, the Word of God has something powerful to say.
God’s design for family doesn’t rely on chaos or busyness. He gave us marriage first, before children, as a sacred covenant for unity, trust, and spiritual growth (Genesis 2:24). When a husband and wife stay rooted in Christ, that relationship becomes the firm foundation from which a healthy, God-centered family grows.
Marriage Is God’s First Relationship for Us
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24
Before children are born, before careers take off, before anything else — God established marriage. It’s not just a social contract; it’s a covenant. That means it’s designed to reflect something far bigger than us, pointing to the way Christ loves His Church (Ephesians 5:25).
When your marriage is strong, it becomes a fortress. It’s where children learn, not just from your words, but from how you love each other, how you forgive, and how you lean on God together.
Kids Are a Blessing — Not the Ultimate Priority
Children are a heritage from the Lord. Psalm 127:3 calls them a gift. But gifts are not meant to become gods.
When we let parenting dominate everything — our schedules, priorities, finances — there’s a danger: what should be a blessing becomes an idol. If your hope, your identity, or your security rests on your children’s successes, that’s a red flag.
God’s design begins with marriage. That relationship, rooted in Him, gives you the strength to raise your kids in a way that honors God without losing yourself.
Children Are Part of God’s Family — Called to Obey
Paul didn’t skip over kids in his gospel letters. In Ephesians 6, he says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” — Ephesians 6:1
That “obey” isn’t just about following rules. It’s about listening, learning, internalizing. It’s discipleship. When kids obey their parents “in the Lord,” it becomes an act of worship, not just a behavior expectation.
Paul links this to the fourth commandment: “Honor your father and mother … so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life.” — Exodus 20:12
Obedience and honor build deep trust — and that trust helps form spiritually mature children.
Parenting from God’s Heart: Discipline and Instruction
Paul continues in Ephesians 6: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” — Ephesians 6:4
That phrase “bring them up” in Greek means to nourish, to cultivate, to feed. Parenting isn’t just about putting down boundaries — it’s about spiritual formation.
• Discipline = structure + correction.
• Instruction = teaching, modeling, explaining God’s ways.
And it must come from a place of love, not anger. When discipline is harsh, children get discouraged. But when it’s grounded in grace and rooted in the gospel, it reflects the way our Heavenly Father disciplines us (Hebrews 12:6).
We Can’t Do This in Our Own Strength
Here’s the truth: parenting well is impossible without relying on God.
• You need patience — Jesus has shown infinite patience with us.
• You need forgiveness — He forgives us over and over.
• You need grace — God gives new mercies every morning.
If you’re pouring out every day but not being refilled spiritually, burnout is just around the corner. Let God minister to you first — then pour into your children from that overflow.
Making It Practical: Talk About Faith, Forgiveness
One of the most powerful parenting tools is simple: talk about God throughout every day. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says: “These words… shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently… when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise.”
That means every moment — the car ride, dinner table, bedtime — is an opportunity to point your kids to Christ.
When sin happens (and it will), don’t just correct behavior — talk about the heart, call it sin, and then point to the cross. Teach them to ask for and extend forgiveness. We don’t say “I’m sorry” by default in our home — we ask, “Will you forgive me?” And then, “I forgive you” because Christ forgave us.
That’s discipleship in action.
Why Marriage Matters More Than Ever
If you center your entire life around your children — making them the priority above God and your spouse — you’re building on a shaky foundation. A child-centered home can’t support long-term faith. But a Christ-centered marriage:
1. Keeps your identity anchored in God.
2. Provides a model of sacrificial love for your children.
3. Gives a stable, unified front for the family.
As a simple but profound challenge: plan date nights for you and your spouse over the next three months. One you plan, one they plan, and one together. Block that time out. Prioritize your marriage.
The Great Builder Is God
Psalm 127:1 reminds us: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
No matter how hard you work — on parenting, on schedules, on relationship-building — if God isn’t at the center, you might be spinning your wheels. But when you let Him build, your marriage, your family, your faith — it’s sustainable.
You don’t have to do this in fear or perfection. You can do it from a place of rest, knowing Christ has done the heavy lifting. He’s already completed the work — now we just obey, love, forgive, and build with Him.
A Prayer for Marriage
Gracious Heavenly Father, thank You for designing marriage and family. We recognize how often we get our priorities out of order. Help us to root our homes in You first, to love our spouses well, and to raise our children in a way that points them to You. Give us patience, humility, and wisdom. When we discipline, let it reflect Your perfect love. When we teach, let it reflect Your truth. And in all things, may we build our lives, our marriages, and our homes for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
FAQ’s: Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I prioritize my marriage when we have young kids?
Commit to dating each other and talk with your children about why that’s important for them!. Pray all together, block out time, let it be a spiritual discipline.
2. What does the Bible say about disciplining children without anger?
Ephesians 6:4 teaches us to “bring them up … in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This means structuring your correction around love and growth, not frustration.
3. Can married parents rely on God’s strength rather than their own?
Yes — our strength comes from the Holy Spirit. As Hebrews 12:6 says, God disciplines those He loves. We must lean on His patience, forgiveness, and grace. Read more in our Faith & The Bible category.
4. How do I talk about sin with my children in a way that points them to Jesus?
Use everyday moments — like mistakes or conflict — to name sin clearly, acknowledge our need for forgiveness, and show the cross.
5. What if I feel like marriage came last or I put my kids first?
It’s never too late. God can realign your heart. Begin by repenting, praying for direction, and reconnecting with your spouse in spiritual unity. Explore our sermon series on Marriages & Children for deeper teaching. .
