In a world that constantly competes for your attention, it’s easy for marriage to slip from the front burner. But what if the very thing that God designed to reflect His love and purpose gets lost because of our hurried, distracted lives? What if God’s intention for marriage as a depiction of His love for the church, is actually a call toward deeper love and spiritual growth? This week in our My Marriage Matters series, Pastor Tim, Lead Pastor here at Shepherd’s Gate, unpacks how God’s design for intimacy, faithfulness, and forgiveness provides both guardrails and freedom in your relationship.
God’s Design for Deep Connection
When God created marriage, He didn’t just stitch two people together — He created a union that is physical and spiritual. Genesis 2:24-25 says: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. They were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
That “one flesh” isn’t just emotional or physical; it’s a spiritual bond. Jesus reiterates this in Matthew 19:6, saying what God has joined together, let no one separate. In other words, marriage is not just about convenience — it’s sacred, and God intends for it to last.
The Reality of Temptation — Even for the “Blessed”
We see in Scripture that even King David, a man after God’s own heart, struggled. In 2 Samuel 11, David stays home when he should have been at war, he sees Bathsheba bathing, and lust turns into adultery. But the story doesn’t end there — it spirals into deception, murder, and heartbreak.
This isn’t just history: it’s a cautionary tale. Because when we hide in secrecy, when we try to cover sin instead of confessing it, things fall apart. Desperate sinners do desperate things. We might think we can cover our tracks, but God still sees.
Further, the things we do in secret or hide from our spouse create barriers to closeness and transparency, which allow marriages to thrive. Since we’re all sinners, we believe our “small” sin or “minor” addiction isn’t important to come clean about. But it’s the coming clean, the shining light on our darkness, that allows our spouse into our transformation.
The Power of Confession and Forgiveness
Thankfully, sin isn’t the final word. When Nathan the prophet confronts David, David doesn’t defend himself — he confesses: “I have sinned against the Lord.” (2 Samuel 12:13) And God responds with mercy: “The Lord has taken away your sin; you shall not die.”
That doesn’t mean there are no consequences. There are — relationships get broken, trust is shattered, and healing takes time. But the gospel gives us something incredible: restoration. Through repentance, accountability, and God’s grace, we can move forward.
Remember the idea of clinging to one another, which we unpacked recently? As God transforms our hearts, He draws us closer to Him and each other. In that deep connection, the marriage bond is strengthened, and faithfulness overcomes temptation.
Strengthening Your Marriage in Practice
Here’s how you can actively protect and grow your marriage:
• Be transparent — Don’t hide struggles. Confess, talk, and bring in help (a pastor, counselor, trusted friend).
• Guard your intimacy — Protect your marriage bed from outside influences. Whether it’s social media, porn, or emotional affairs, set up healthy boundaries.
• Make intentional time — Turn off phones. Prioritize meaningful conversation. Build habits that don’t let technology dilute your connection.
• Seek help when needed — Whether you’re navigating betrayal or just wanting to deepen intimacy, professional Christian counseling can guide you.
• Lean on God together — Pray, read Scripture, and invite God into every part of your marriage — the good, the hard, and everywhere in between.
Why This Matters for You
If you’re newly married, or somewhere in the messy middle, know this: God doesn’t settle for “good enough.” He calls you into a covenant relationship that reflects His own faithfulness. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. At Shepherd’s Gate in Shelby Township, we believe in marriage as a lifelong journey — one where vulnerability, confession, and grace are not weaknesses but strengths.
FAQs
About Marriage, Sex & Faith
Here are some questions people often Google, with answers that reflect our theology and mission:
1. What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?
We explore God’s design for marital intimacy in Scripture — how it’s a gift, not just for procreation but for unity, pleasure, and spiritual connection.
2. How can couples protect their marriage from temptation?
We talk about practical boundaries (digital, emotional, relational) and the power of accountability and confession.
3. What does forgiveness look like after infidelity?
True forgiveness involves repentance, transparency, and rebuilding trust, and it often requires pastoral or counseling support. Find more on Shepherd’s Gate pastoral care and support at this link.
4. How do you communicate about hard topics (like sex, boundaries, past mistakes)?
We encourage open, honest dialogue, creating safe spaces for sharing and praying together — tools you can start using this week.
5. Where can we go for Christian counseling as a married couple?
Shepherd’s Gate offers referrals to Christian counselors, pastoral support, and resources for couples who want guidance rooted in faith. Click here to learn more about Shepherd’s Gate pastoral care, or contact us at (586) 731-4544 and select option 0.
